What was I thinking?

There are days when I will admit to being slightly scatterbrained. Other days, I can get overwhelmed by trying to do too much in too little time. Slightly scatterbrained is like the time (this past week) when I mailed my brother's birthday card a week early only to have it returned to me because I had sent it to the wrong address! I know where my brother lives. But my eyes mixed his address with our mom's address and I somehow managed to come up with a place that didn't exist. The post office stamped stuff all over the envelope (so now I have to find a new one) to let me know how confused I'd made them. Sorry, Post Office. It wasn't intentional! Trying to do too much in too little time - well that would be when I do things like order new carpet and moldings to be installed before Thanksgiving, forgetting - or more appropriately - not realizing how much wall repair work awaited - drywall repair that needed fixing before we could paint, all of which should have been done before we put down new carpet.

This is what happens when I get impatient. My impatience leads me to try to stay on top of things, which can be good. My editors probably appreciate it when I turn in my work a few days or weeks ahead of schedule. But it's not so good when I get frustrated with things around the house that need attending and no one is attending to them.

This also leads me to another vice, which I try to avoid, but fail sometimes - the ability to nag, beg, plead, or guilt the male members of my household into doing said projects. I engage in such tactics when I think I can't do some of the things I want to see done. In truth, I can't do some of them - I'm not skilled in plumbing or electrical maintenance; and recently, I was advised to avoid screwing in light bulbs without engineering assistance. :) (I managed to get one good and stuck - but it went in crooked - so what was I to do?)

But it is also true that I can do some of the things I figured my guys ought to be doing. I can scrape and sand walls, paint, fill holes, use a drill, hang curtains...a regular handywoman. :) And I also realized how wrong it was of me to beg, nag, plead, or guilt others into doing things I could do myself. I can ask for help. (They usually give it.) I can hope and pray these overwhelming projects get done on time. But when it all comes down to it, the only person I can make do anything is me. I'm responsible for my own choices. So I'll be working a little harder the next few weeks!

I did call and reschedule the carpet to give us more time. Now the plan is to have it all done by Christmas, and only part of it done by Thanksgiving. If I look at everything I need to accomplish in the next month all at once, I get a little panicky. But if I look at each day, one at a time, then I can do what God gives me for that day.

It's a lesson in trusting and in giving my impatience to Him.


PersonalJill Eileen Smith