Thanksgiving has been pretty much the same around here for many years. Various family members would gather at our home and share a meal, pot-luck style. When we began hosting dinner for our parents, we still had all of them with us. Now, Randy’s parents are gone, and this year my dad could no longer travel from the nursing home. This year was also different with two of our sons in California and the rest of us here. I didn’t feel like cooking, and we had planned to either go out to eat or buy it ready made. But the whole day turned out better than I expected for us and for our California guys. We got to spend the day with family at our niece’s lovely home (and I didn’t have to cook!) and the boys were invited to spend the day with new friends. Ryan started the day running with 14,000 other people in Detroit’s Turkey Trot.

Yesterday, we celebrated a McDonald’s Thanksgiving with my dad and several family members. He’s frailer than he was a year ago, but it was a good day for him and for us. He looked at me across the table, and though he is hard of hearing could read my lips when I asked him how he was doing. I love to see him smile! And today as we drove my mom home from my niece’s house, I was reminded yet again how grateful I am to still have both of them nearby. I thank God for my family, each and every one of them.

Last night I also had reason yet again to thank God for friends when I asked a few of them to pray for a sudden personal need. How blessed we are as believers to have one another to pray for us at such times, to share in our joys and our burdens. God is gracious and good beyond measure!

This week brought me some very kind words from readers of Michal and from my editor as she began to read Bathsheba, her words greatly encouraging me. I never expected to be at this place in my life, never dreamed of the changes both personal and professional. Some I would change in a heartbeat. Others I wouldn’t change for the world.

Above all, I’m grateful for my salvation in Jesus Christ and for the way God surprises me with joy and peace in His Word. I picked up my Bible the other night and opened to a story in the Old Testament that inspired me and gave me much to ponder, capturing my imagination in one of those “I wonder why and how” moments. I’m exploring the possibility of a future story…

Lots to be thankful to God for this Thanksgiving. I hope you feel the same way too.

Shalom~

Leaves are falling like snow outside my window coming from the maple tree in our neighbor’s back yard. I love autumn’s multicolored hues with its fiery reds and muted golds. It’s especially fun to watch the cats try to chase the leaves on the other side of the glass. Our windows carry lots of kitty nose prints…

But with fall comes the promise of winter and holidays descend on us quicker each year. Is Christmas really only a month away? I have so much yet to do before I’m ready to celebrate!

Sales marketing teams have already started to pound us with ads, showing us happy families buying expensive presents for their loved ones, focusing on the warm fuzzies these holidays are meant to bring. And we should focus on the good surrounding Thanksgiving and Christmas, to do for others less fortunate than we are and to give gifts to those we love.

But some of us will dread this time of year. I heard yesterday that Thanksgiving Eve is the biggest bar night of the year. Why do people flock to the bars to drink the night away on the eve of a celebration of thanksgiving and gratitude for all we’ve been given, for all God has done for us?

Could it be that the holidays bring out the worst and the best in us? I dare say that every family on earth (even Christian families) have at least some dysfunction, some painful memories or difficult people they want to avoid. Some refuse to be in the same room with a parent or sibling or a more distant relative. Others grin and bear the obligation but are uptight and frustrated during even a short visit.

And I wonder…what ever happened to grace?

The holidays do bring stress in fulfilling all of the expectations put upon us. And they can open old wounds, bringing up painful pasts, forcing us into situations that perhaps once brought joy but no longer. Let’s face it, some situations and some people are just difficult to deal with.

I’m not suggesting that I understand all of the reasons behind the dysfunction in our lives, but I do know that it takes grace to overlook a matter, and grace to forgive those who have wounded us in the past. Sometimes the people we are called on to forgive do not even realize they have wronged us, or can only see things from their point of view. They may be filled with anger and bitterness that gets aimed at us, but in reality stems from someone or something else.

Hebrews 12:14-15 says, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

Grace can’t live in a heart of bitterness. And bitterness has deep roots that grow and defile many. I wonder, if we really look at why being with our families or extended families or even friends brings out the worst at the holidays, if we might not find a bitter root at its source. If we do, perhaps it is time to dig it out and let God’s grace teach us to forgive – even those who aren’t sorry – to forgive because God has forgiven us.

Psalm 107 (in the Complete Jewish Bible) rephrases a verse differently from the NIV. In the NIV we read, “Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men,” whereas in the CJB it is worded like this: “Let them give thanks to Adonai for his grace, for his wonders bestowed on humanity.”

I like that. This psalm talks about how God had mercy on the children of Israel over and over again, how in their trouble they would cry out to Him, and He would rescue them. Four times the psalmist tells his hearers, “Let them give thanks to Adonai for his grace, for his wonders bestowed on humanity.” Or…”let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love.”

Either way you interpret the verse, grace or unfailing love, you have a characteristic of God that won’t live with our bitterness. Our hearts can’t share space with both grace and a bitter root. Bitterness grows and defiles many even those who are innocent, whereas grace extends as far as people are willing to let it, even to those who don’t deserve it.

This Thanksgiving, as we gather with our imperfect friends and family, may we find the grace to forgive past hurts and extend love as it has been given to us through Jesus Christ. People will always let us down. And we can react to their failings with bitterness or graciousness.

May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. (2 Thessalonians 3:18)

Selah~

I love to laugh. Sometimes, when our family is all together, something will strike me as funny, and I will laugh so hard it hurts. A deep, down belly laugh that comes from a cheerful heart – the kind I categorize with Solomon’s “good medicine.” (Proverbs 17:22) Most of the time I don’t find things quite so funny, and my laughter comes out more like a chuckle. A good belly laugh is more fun, perhaps because it’s so rare.

That’s probably because I don’t find a lot of today’s humor very funny. Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t laugh at jokes that are tainted with vulgarity. I can handle sarcastic humor, depending on how far it goes. But the best laughs for me are rated G.

In living with a houseful of men for many years, I’ve noticed that we don’t always understand the same types of humor. They sometimes find things funny that I don’t, usually because I don’t get the joke, but when I laugh at mom-type jokes, they might give me a strange “what’s so funny?” look. Sometimes you just had to be there…

I understand today’s desire for more sophisticated humor as compared to the TV sitcoms of the 50s and 60s. But most of today’s comedies…well, they just take things too far. Maybe that’s because a lot of humor now is really perverse speech disguised in comedy. And maybe we even laugh at it because there is truth in such commentary. But why can’t truth be rated G?

Proverbs 8:13 says, “To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.”

If God hates perverse speech, shouldn’t I do my best to stay away from it? That’s not to say I can stop living in the world or try to shelter myself from people. And it’s true that not only humor, but language today is a lot rougher than it was when I was growing up. My kids’ generation thinks nothing of hearing the “F” word in casual speech. I find it troubling.

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.” Ephesians 5:3-5

Interesting how obscenity, foolish talk, and coarse joking got lumped together with impurity and greed. Kind of goes to show how powerful words can be and how seriously God views them. Reminds me of how God also views grumbling and complaining – enough to tell the Israelites they would wander in the desert for 40 years because they grumbled against Him. If you read Psalm 106, you come to understand that the grumbling stemmed from envy and greed. As Jesus said, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:46)

Solomon, the wisest man to live on earth studied everything around him an commented on it extensively. Ecclesiastes 7:5-6 gives a hint on what he thought about foolish joking.

“It is better to heed a wise man’s rebuke than to listen to the song of fools. Like the crackling of thorns under the pot, so is the laughter of fools.”

So is your humor rated R or rated G? Are you happy with your choice?

Selah~

Rejection is tough. Really tough! If my kids had a dollar for every time they heard me threaten to quit writing…well, they might not be rich, but they’d have collected a lot of dollars from me over the years!

But rejection does have a good side, particularly the type of rejection that pertains to our careers or our artistic pursuits. The good? It teaches us to persevere.

God loves patience. I know we don’t usually like to hear that or even want to agree with Him. We are all impatient by nature, and to pray for patience seems almost foolish – for fear of that verse that says “the trial of your faith produces patience.” But the following verses go on to say to “let patience have its perfect work that you may be perfect and complete (mature) lacking nothing.” Pretty powerful words. And isn’t perseverance a good thing?

God will use trials in life to teach us patience because He values it so much. As writers or artists or musicians, our trial of choice is often rejection. But wouldn’t we rather suffer a rejection of our work than a trial that might involve something more difficult to bear? Not that God is out to get us – just that sometimes we learn better when trials involve things we care about. So while writing may be His leading, waiting on Him for His timing goes along with it.

Looking back, I can say this now – wouldn’t have said it 2 1/2 years ago when I was ready to quit – but now I can say I’m grateful for those writing rejections, for all the time I had to spend in God’s waiting room. I can’t say I’ve learned all of the patience that He requires of me, but I’ve learned a lot about trusting His timing and realizing just how much He values building my character more than He cares for my career’s success.

Rejections can teach us a lot…

Selah~

I spent most of the day at the former home of my in-laws (both are deceased) cleaning the kitchen and part of the bathroom, trying to find the counters and sink and floor beneath the grime. We’ve been painting and remodeling and fixing things over there for quite a while now, and we’re hopeful that it will soon be ready to list with a realtor. Hopefully. Soon…

Of course, housing being what it is these days, we want to make the place look as good as we can. The number one thing they say you can do to get a house ready to sell is to get rid of the clutter and clean. So today I cleaned, and by the time we left, I must say the kitchen looked usable and shiny.

But there is still a lot to do. Randy has already gotten rid of a ton of clutter there, but when I walked through the basement, I could see so much more to do. So many nick knacks or scraps of stuff for unfinished projects! That got me thinking about my own house and all of the nick knacks I have and the unfinished craft projects I have stuffed in boxes somewhere. Why do we collect these things? We give them as gifts or pick them up as souvenirs, reminders of a place we’ve been or by them with the intention of making them someday. But too often those projects never get done, and those souvenirs end up packed in a box and we never look at them. Or they collect dust on a shelf we never dust because it’s too much work to move the nick knacks. And I was wondering why we hang onto these collections? Are we sentimental about them? Do they bring us joy? If so, great! I can enjoy the site of such things. But when does it become too much?

I pondered this when I moved a cabinet and had to take all of the nick knacks out in order to move it. I put most of them back, but not all. I think it’s time to part with some of them.

And I was also thinking how so much of what we own starts to own us. When does it become like an idol to us? When we care too much about it to let it go? If we move to a smaller home someday, would I take all of this stuff with me? One thing is sure, I can’t take it with me when I die, so if I stop enjoying it here and it just becomes clutter to me, then it’s time to part with it. If I don’t do so, someone else will have to do it for me.

My grandmother used to say, “If you haven’t used it in a year, get rid of it.” I don’t subscribe to Grandma’s way of thinking, but when she died, she had very little left to part with. She knew how to keep nick knacks and other stuff from cluttering her life. A good lesson to learn from a day of cleaning.

Selah~