April 2008

My pondering got interrupted by a medical emergency. My dad fell and broke his hip this past weekend, pushing my priorities in different directions. Prayers for his complete and quick healing are most appreciated.

And speaking of prayer…prayer is more than rote recitations or mind-numbing mantras. Prayer is conversation, a direct communication with our Maker. Of course, there is a catch, that is, there are conditions on which our prayers are heard. Some of those conditions are to know Him personally, to have the right to be called His children by faith in His Son Jesus Christ. Another is to keep our hearts from sin because God won’t listen if we have a wall of sin between us.

But if we do know Him and are living our lives to please Him, obeying His commands to love Him and seek Him first and loving our neighbors as ourselves, then we ought to pray – always – about everything. Including and especially about our relationships and our marriages.

Nowadays, it’s too easy to get caught up in life’s busyness and struggles and we can take our mates for granted assuming they will always be there. But we don’t know what tomorrow may bring or how long we have to live on this earth, so we shouldn’t assume that the man we love (or woman if you’re a man) will always be at our side. My dad’s sudden trip to the hospital reminded me yet again how quickly life can change. One minute he was walking out the door to church and the next he was on the floor and couldn’t get up.

Not that we should live in fear of tragedy, but we should live in appreciation for each moment God gives us to love those He has placed in our lives. Appreciation and gratitude can go a long way toward stopping the onslaught of temptation that can pull us apart. Temptation toward unfaithfulness comes in so many forms – not only sexual infidelity, but other addictions or idols as well. Idols that we place ahead of God and then above the relationships He would have us put first. Things that replace people in our lives. Even in marriage.

Prayer is a good way to keep those priorities from getting out of balance. When we seek Him first and keep the lines of communication with our Lord open, we are free to share everything in our hearts with Him. And as we surrender our wills for His, He restores things that are broken and heals wounds that hurt.

The apostle Paul said to, “Pray without ceasing.” It’s something I’m aiming to do more each day.

My days have been full with writing, shopping, physical therapy, writing, shopping, physical therapy…you get the idea. Made some good purchases – new mattresses should be coming in another week and a new desk chair! I believe these two items, along with increased stretching exercises will be the best things outside of therapy I could do to feel good again. And I’m happy to report that I’ve had some improvement in my physical ailments and some answers to prayer in other areas as well. It’s been a good week. :)

I’ve also discovered some things I had taken a bit for granted, lessons about marriage I thought I knew, but realized I will never stop learning. My wedding anniversary is coming up next month – 31 years! And you would think after such a long time together that we could just assume that life will go on as it always has. But love and marriage like precious silver can sparkle when kept cleaned and polished but will tarnish beyond recognition with neglect and age. We must never take them for granted.

This truth hit home during a conversation with a new acquaintance. She told me about her parents and about their Christian faith and long time marriage. (They’ve been married over 40 years!) To look at them, no one would guess they would ever part ways, but recently her dad asked her mom for a divorce. The whole thing came as a complete surprise to her mom and the rest of the family and is a severe test of their steadfast faith.

Such news saddened me, but at the same time it got me thinking. My parents just celebrated 66 years together yesterday, much longer than most marriages make it these days. I look at younger adults and the increasing desire to wait to settle down, sometimes for good reason, other times for selfish ones, or in many cases to not marry at all. Why marry when sex often comes without commitments?

Our culture wants to redefine marriage to include any and all sexual partnerships. And temptations to stray from marital fidelity can come at any age. Just because our bodies age doesn’t mean our mind does. I’m noticing that as I get older that I still think in many ways as I did when I was younger. That’s why older guys will often hurt themselves trying to play sports or lift things like they did when they were fresh out of college – their mind tells them they can do this but their body disagrees and lets them know it right quick!

The same is true for physical attraction and desire. We want to be appreciated, to be respected, to feel special and if our mate isn’t making us feel that way any more, the tempter comes along to show us someone who will. King David found that out when he watched Bathsheba bathing. He was 50 years old – but still very susceptible to temptation.

Which brings me back to the fact that we cannot take love and marriage for granted. Thirty-one years is a long time, and yet if life is long or the Lord tarries, I plan to more than double that number. But like the man who suddenly decided after 40 plus years that he no longer wanted to be married, we cannot think that because we’ve made it this far, we don’t have to work on it. Every marriage is a beautiful challenge and needs plenty of tender support and care.

I heard a speaker once say that men want respect and women want to be cherished. So while I wait to be cherished (which I am, by the way) :) how can I find ways to creatively respect my man?

The tempter wants to destroy marriage as God designed it, to redefine it, or make it obsolete. I rather doubt he’s big on creatively loving those whom we’ve promised to love our whole life long either. But we don’t have to give in to temptation, and marriages can survive if we work at keeping them alive. It starts with never taking the marriage for granted. Next step – pray.

More on that later…

It’s amazing the difference prayer makes – particularly concentrated prayer. And what a blessing it is when you are the recipient of such prayer. I noticed in Israel, when lots of people were praying for our group and for me with all of my anxiety and health concerns that I had such perfect peace while we were there and no real problems. I came home and fell apart! Well, maybe not completely, but I do miss those concentrated prayers! :)

I understand now why Paul spoke of praying so earnestly for the people in the churches who would receive his letters and how he asked for them to pray for him in return. We need each other, do we not? It’s too easy to become focused on our own needs and forget the needs of others. That’s lopsided and doesn’t help either one of us. The Christian life has so much to still learn, no matter how old I get. :)

So while I work on praying more diligently for others, I could use some prayer as well – as God leads. A quick update on why I say that – I survived two EMGs and an MRI over the last week or so. The MRI is an interesting machine and after it was over I was actually thinking I like the EMG better – only because my new doctor knows how to give the test without pain. Not that the MRI is painful, just that I got a bit claustrophobic. Halfway through I thought they were done and asked to come out.

“No, we still have more to do you’re fine.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You’re doing great. We just have the other half to do.”

“No, I’m not. I need to get out of here.”

So they pulled me out. “Can I sit up?”

“No, we need you to stay still.”

“I don’t think you understand. I need to sit up.”

“OK, we can sit you up.”

They took off this round cage-like thing that they had strapped over my neck. “Can we leave that off now?”

“Yes.” Amazing how insistent we have to be sometimes. But I’d been told they would pull me out between each MRI (I had two together) and they decided since I was doing so well they weren’t going to do that. But it wasn’t working for me.

So after I recovered a bit, they pushed me back inside with a towel over my eyes (I’d forgotten to ask for it before and made the mistake of opening my eyes when I thought they were done.) I’d grown weary of laying still and I was worried I was breathing too hard and started noticing my chest rising and falling. I silently sang and prayed and imagined everything I could think of when I finally realized I was hungry. So then I thought about what I could stop for that would feel like a reward after enduring this confining, head-pounding prison chamber – okay, a bit of an exaggeration, but that’s what it felt like! So I thought of Starbucks cafe mocha coffees and McDonald’s vanilla milkshakes. McDonald’s won out in the end though it took me two stops to find one with a machine that worked!

Now the results say I have two pinched nerves in my neck and mild carpal tunnel in both wrists. The lower back isn’t as bad as the doctor thought, but something is going on there – he still thinks it’s a pinched nerve, it just doesn’t show up as one. I’ve added physical therapy to my weekly routine for the next month. We’re making a little progress on the numbness, but I also think new mattresses are going to help immensely. (Don’t ask me how old ours are now.) We went shopping for new ones on Saturday and I’m anxious to go back and make a decision. I fantasize about not waking up in pain. :) And my sister assured me that new mattresses helped her with similar issues, so I’m quite hopeful!

On a fun note ~ I got my publicity photo taken last week. My photographer was great – very patient. If you live in Michigan and need your picture taken, email me and I’ll send you to her. Oh, best contact me at jewordsmith at gmail dot com as my email address on my contact page no longer works. Our server got switched last week as well.

Time for me to work on Abigail, which is coming along well. Abigail and David just married so now I get to explore part two. Love it!

It’s been a crazy week. I knew I was having some physical issues before we left for Israel – as I noted in the prayer requests I posted here. On the trip, I had very few symptoms and had hoped things were better. Then I got home and after ten days away from my computer went a little overboard typing…

Needless to say, my symptoms returned, sending me to the specialist, which led to a diagnosis of mild carpal tunnel and two pinched nerves. I’m going for more tests to confirm and it’s not nearly as serious as problems some people suffer with – I’m not complaining! And physical therapy is actually a rather pleasant experience – most of the time…

Life has just gotten very busy all of a sudden, and I’ve been told it will get busier as we move closer to publication. But I’ve got to say each step of this process is a new adventure. And writing Abigail after visiting Israel has been great!

In the meantime, I’ve been reading two books – one about the women at the time of the Bible, which I got in Israel – very interesting research! And one is a classic about humility. Lots to ponder about that subject – I hope to share some of my thoughts in days to come. One thing that has stuck with me though is how the Law was given to humble men – to show us just how impossible it is to keep God’s requirements. Our pride makes us think we can, but only in humility can we even come close. Israel thought they could keep it when they promised Moses they would do everything written in the commandments. I wonder how much different things might have been if instead of a commitment made in pride they had fallen on their faces and begged God for mercy, admitting they could not keep His Law without His help.

It’s the place we all must come to before the Almighty. But in our pride we too often stay away.

But James tells us “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble…Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

It’s a lesson I will never stop learning…