January 2008

What is a true friend? I’ve been blessed with many people over the years that I would consider true friends. These are not the type of people who pass through my life for a season, rather the kinds that stick it out through thick and thin. We may lose touch for a while or even move apart and rarely see each other, but the friendship remains.

My truest friends know many of my idiosyncrasies, faults, and failures – and amazingly, they still put up with me! They come alongside and hold me up when I slip into self-pity or despair. They rejoice with me when I find reason to celebrate. They shower me with loving kindness.

If I had kept a record of blessings, which I should have, these friends would rank near the top.

Singer and songwriter Twila Paris wrote a song about true friendship many years ago. One of my true friends shared it with me. Part of the chorus says:

“You are a true friend, pointing me to Him
Lifting my downcast eyes, turning my wandering gaze to the skies.
Proving your love again, you are a true friend.”

True friends prove their love in the advice they give. Job’s friends thought they were giving helpful advice to Job after he suffered devastating loss, but all they were doing was spouting useless words. A true friend doesn’t always have to give advice. Sometimes they just listen, saying little.

Other times, they may have to risk the friendship to point their misguided friends to Jesus when they become disillusioned or worried or desperate or afraid. Or worse, when they see their friend stepping into pride or rebellion and the host of sins that follow those attitudes. They speak the truth in love, no matter the cost.

The apostle Paul thanked God continually for his fellow believers, coworkers, friends who shared his ministry and his faith. Taking a cue from him, I, too, thank the Lord for the many wonderful friends He has brought into my life. Some of you reading this have been true friends to me in one way or another over the years. Thank you for being there to lift me up when I fail and to point me to Jesus when I stray. Thank you for encouragement and laughter and for rejoicing with me when I celebrate.

You are a true friend – and you know who you are. My love and prayers are with you today.

One of the most famous of Christ’s parables in Scripture is the story of the prodigal son. A father had two sons, one older son who compliantly served his father, doing all in his bidding. The younger chafed against his father’s rules and wanted to live life, doing his own thing. You can read the whole story in Luke 15:11-32

Growing up, I was the younger daughter in birth order but the older, obedient daughter at heart. And because I didn’t have a dramatic conversion from horrible worldly vices to saving faith, I sometimes wished I had. I was obedient on the outside, but at times a prodigal on the inside.

The prodigal son was a rebel. He disrespected his father’s authority and decided his own will and way were best. At a heart level, we are no different. Every one of us has at one time or another rebelled against what God has for us.

The older brother was arrogant. His pride in his own accomplishments made him judgmental and bitter against his father for showing mercy to his less deserving brother. Yet in reality, his sin was just as damning. We’re not as great as we think we are and our own pride keeps us from seeing that truth.

Scripture tells us that rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft, and that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. In the end, the prodigal son received grace and mercy because he recognized his sin and humbled himself in his father’s sight. The older brother didn’t.

I’ve been thinking lately that every one of us is both the prodigal son and the older brother at a heart level. We are all prone to rebellion and pride. Who can escape either? So then the lessons from the parable applies to each of us in a multitude of ways.

I don’t like pride or rebellion, but I struggle with both. How often have I told God my way is better than His? How many times do I think more highly of myself than I ought to?

The prodigal son’s example of repentance and the way his father graciously forgave him touches me most. I don’t want to be either brother, but if I had to choose, I’d be the one who returned, recognizing how wrong he was…and became a new person, rather than a prodigal at heart.

AN INTERVIEW WITH SHARON K. SOUZA
Author of Every Good and Perfect Gift

1. Your debut novel Every Good & Perfect Gift is releasing this month from Nav Press. Can you tell us a little about the book?

DeeDee and Gabby have been friends since the sixth grade, when headstrong and courageous DeeDee began mapping out their lives. But after twenty years with her husband DeeDee changes her plan. Nearing forty years old, she wants a baby – now! Two years of infertility, prayers, and outrageous behavior finally results in the birth of DeeDee’s demand.

Gabby is present for all of it, noting the increasingly strange behavior of her lifelong friend after the baby’s birth. Then comes a diagnosis that threatens to shatter their world. Gabby must find the strength and faith to carry DeeDee and herself through the dark unknown, but is she up for it?

2. What inspired you to write Every Good & Perfect Gift?

I wanted to write a book about a “Jonathan and David” type friendship between two women, knowing that I was ultimately going to tell the story of a young woman who is diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s. I have a close friend who, at the age of 42, began to exhibit many of the symptoms portrayed in the book. Since completing the book I’ve learned that another close friend has been diagnosed with EOA. What are the odds?

In determining what course the friendship between Gabby and DeeDee would take, I asked myself: What is the greatest way one woman can express friendship to another? The answer: By helping her have a child if she’s unable to, which one character is willing to do if it comes to that.

3. You’ve incorporated two major issues in Every Good & Perfect Gift: infertility and Early Onset Alzheimer’s. Why not focus on one or the other? Why both?

The theme of Gift is extraordinary friendship. The foundation for the friendship is established between the characters in their childhood, tested through the issue of infertility, and exemplified through catastrophic illness. Infertility was the catalyst to get to that level of friendship expressed because of the illness. One character’s growth was accomplished because of infertility, while the other character’s growth came as a result of the Alzheimer’s.

4. Why did you use humor to tell a story with such serious issues?

It’s exactly because the issues are so serious that I chose humor to tell the story. Our life experiences are heavy enough without adding to them as we read for pleasure. That’s not to say there aren’t serious moments in the book, but hopefully the reader is buoyed by the lighter sections, rather than overloaded with the weightier ones.

5. What are your feelings about egg donation and other modern solutions that help women overcome infertility?

There are some things I might not personally opt for, but infertility was never an issue with me. If it had been I might have been willing to try anything. As it stands, I’m not opposed to in vitro fertilization or sperm donation, things of that nature. I don’t find anything in Scripture that would cause me to be against it.

6. What are your feelings about a couple’s decision to intentionally not have children?

Again, that wasn’t my experience. I had three babies in quick succession and would not have done anything differently. But not every adult is cut out to be a parent. If an individual or couple realizes that they aren’t equipped for parenthood, or if they feel their lives are full as they are, I don’t’ believe it’s a sin not to have children. In fact, I think it’s wise. That’s not to say a person’s feelings may not change in time, like it did for DeeDee. Then it’s up to the couple to make the choice that’s right for them.

7. What do you want your readers to take away from this book?

I spent several years in my early adulthood without a close friend. When the first one came into my life, I realized what I had missed and truly saw her as a gift from the Lord. But beyond that, I’ve experienced the truth of Proverbs 18:24: “. . . there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” In her darkest moments, Gabby learned that the Lord reaches out to us in compassion, spanning the gap between our need and His provision. That’s been the case in my life over and over.

8. Do you base any of your characters on real people?

The concept of the story was based on a real situation in regards to the Early Onset Alzheimer’s. But the characters are not based on real people. I do typically use people I know/have known and then take their personality traits/quirks to extremes–almost like a caricature–in order to make the character as interesting as possible. Almost always my daughters will recognize something of themselves in my make-believe world. It makes for fun conversation.

9. If the characters are primarily fictional, what about the setting? Is that someplace known to you?

I actually wrote the entire story in a fictional setting, without ever naming it. I just placed the town in the San Joaquin valley. My editor suggested I nail down the location, even a fictitious one. As we talked back and forth, I decided to use my real “home town” of Lodi. I grew up in the Sacramento area, but have lived in or around Lodi since my husband and I got married. There’s some debate about whether or not “our” Lodi is the subject of the 1969 Credence Clearwater Revival song, “Stuck in Lodi.” Right or wrong, I choose to think it is. But not for a minute do I feel stuck. I love Lodi.

10. What is your purpose in writing inspirational fiction?

I’ve had well-meaning friends ask why I write fiction at all. If I want to share the Gospel, why not write “the truth.” Two answers come to mind. First, that “burning fire shut up in my bones” (Jer. 20:9) finds its release in fiction. Second, when Jesus wanted to get a heavenly truth across, He didn’t deliver a three-point sermon. He told stories. My desire in writing inspirational fiction is that women who read my books will find them easy to share with other women who haven’t yet come into relationship with Jesus, and that those women will be directed to the One who loves them with an everlasting love.

What other authors are saying about Every Good & Perfect Gift

“Sharon Souza’s beautiful novel will sweep you into the embrace of an extraordinary friendship, with all the giddy laughter of new adventure, the sparkle of young love, the joy of motherhood, the anguish of unexpected sorrow, and the hard-won wisdom of faith and gratitude. When you have turned the last page and wiped your tears, the story will enchant you for days and weeks and maybe even years to come.”
~KATHLEEN POPA, author of To Dance in the Desert

“In a crisp, upbeat style, Sharon Souza weaves an emotional tale of friendship and faith. She offers an insightful journey through complex issues. I came away touched.”
~SALLY JOHN, author of The Beach House

“What an absolutely wonderful book, vibrating with rich characters and brimming with life. I loved it! A debut novel of the highest quality. Don’t miss this good and perfect gift!”
~GAYLE ROPER, author of Fatal Deductions

“Sharon Souza’s debut is chock-full of motherhood and grace, humor and friendship, wonderfully weaved with the strong cords of faith. Bravo!”
~RAY BLACKSTON, author of Flabbergasted

“Every Good and Perfect Gift captured my imagination from the first line, causing me to contemplate the bonds of such an extraordinary relationship. What would the world be like if more friendships were like Gabby and DeeDee’s? Sharon Souza’s debut novel is achingly beautiful and tender, often richly funny, and hauntingly memorable.”
~JULIE CAROBINI, author of Chocolate Beach and Truffles by the Sea

“Every Good and Perfect Gift swept me down memory lane to the joys and trials of starting a family. Sharon Souza uses her skilled hand to wipe away the fine line between friends and family and shows us that God has a loving plan, even when our faith is tested. A touching debut.”
~NICOLE SEITZ, author of Trouble the Water and The Spirit of Sweetgrass

About Sharon:
Sharon and her husband Rick have been married 36 years. They live in northern California, and have three children and 6 grandchildren. Rick travels the world building churches, Bible schools and orphanages. Sharon travels with him on occasion, but while Rick lives the adventure, Sharon is more than happy to create her own through fiction.

A complimentary copy of Every Good and Perfect Gift is available upon request. Contact: Kathleen Y’Barbo – kathleen@booksandsuch.biz

Our yard looks like we buried a whale, according to one son, but in reality we buried a pipe and took out a tree. It will take a while for the ground to settle and to get used to the changes. It will also make cutting the grass, once we have grass again, easier. Maybe we should talk to a landscaper, but my husband is pretty good at planning how to plant things. I tend to kill plants, so I leave all that to him.

Today I tackled some long-ignored cleaning, and I am quite pleased with the result. The area in question is not perfect, but it is much better than it was. Much less tripping space.

Part of the cleaning was motivated by the prospect of company – yes, I tend to obsess over the house when people are stopping by. This time one of our sons is having a party. We left before it began for our own date night. We saw the movie Juno, of which I’d heard good things and the trailer looked interesting. I wasn’t disappointed.

The story is about a teenage girl who gets pregnant in high school. At first she plans to get an abortion until a girl from her school who is standing outside the abortion clinic tells her that her baby already has fingernails. She goes inside the clinic and can’t get that image out of her head, so decides to give the baby up for adoption instead.

I was pleased with her decision, for obvious pro-life reasons, but I was equally pleased that the movie didn’t make the story of her pregnancy look easy. Her decision seemed easy until she gave birth, but even before that happened she had some really tough choices to make.

At one point she comes home after a devastating discovery and her dad asks her what she’s been up to. Her response was, “Handling things way beyond my maturity level.”
(That line is in the trailer as well.)

The thing is, Juno had to face the reality that life doesn’t always work out the way we’d planned. People today seem so willing to give up on commitments, vows mean little, and selfishness abounds. Juno, like so many people today, wondered if relationships ever last. Her parents divorced, so she didn’t have a great example in them. Such questions, in her opinion, were way beyond her maturity level – more than she could handle or should have to.

And it made me wonder how many teens feel the same way. So many adults don’t live up to their commitments, or grow up to accept adult maturity, to be an example to the generation that is following in their footsteps.

I know we all have to come to the place where we figure out who we are and choose what we’re going to do and be. And some of us grow up faster than others, but some don’t grow up at all. And I wonder if children are handling things beyond their maturity level because adults are not handling them well at all.

The movie left me with many such thoughts to ponder, with poignant lessons on several levels. I heard that the movie was also the author’s first screenplay. If so, she did an amazing job.

After the movie we stopped off at Starbucks. The weather is bitter cold tonight, so hot chocolate and chocolate coffee hit the spot. And now it’s time to read a new book I ordered Shattered Dreams, My Life As A Polygamist’s Wife. Another story that is giving me much food for thought.

Sometimes a day just doesn’t turn out the way we expect. This week has been like that from the start.

Monday the sewer pipes plugged as they’d done last year, only this time instead of going the temporary fix-it route, we opted to bite the bullet and replace the whole line. So Tuesday morning the plumbing company showed up at our house and dug up our front yard. We now have dirt where the grass used to be. Of course, the reason the pipes clogged was also an issue – a big, shady tree in our front yard crowded the pipe and manages to clog drains and downspouts every year, not to mention the leaves to be raked each fall. So tomorrow the tree-cutting people will be taking it down. I wanted new carpet inside the house this year, but it looks like a new carpet of grass outside is going to win out. Now the challenge will be to keep from tracking mud into the house from now until spring.

These projects were only a few of the interruptions I faced this week. I intended to get to Curves on Monday, as well as, today, but today had its own set of distractions. One fun distraction was some paperwork I had to fill out for my publisher, to answer some questions they had. It’s exciting to see that things are moving along. Michal, Daughter of the King (my working title which could change) is slated to release in Spring of 2009! A little over a year from now I’ll hold my firstborn book in my hands! I can’t wait!

I’m making progress on Abigail, albeit a bit slow. Still, something is better than nothing. I found some great pictures for my female lead characters for Michal and Abigail. I think I’ve settled on Bathsheba, but that could change. I love the images I found for David and Michal. If I were a film director, these actors would be my first pick for a movie based on my book. Of course, the chances of the book ever coming out on the silver screen aren’t likely, but a girl can dream…

Tomorrow is errand day, but I do hope to get some writing done. And I really do need to get back to de-junking our office. Why does cleaning so easily take a back seat when something else comes along? Hmm…of course, my errands could get side-tracked again as the rest of my plans this week have done. I miss my son who is away on a business trip, and I’m trying to adjust to a quieter house.

I’ve been listening to Steven Curtis Chapman’s latest album, “This Moment.” On it, he sings a song called Cinderella. I cry every time I hear it. He talks about how his daughter moved from asking him to dance when she was a little girl, then asked him to practice with her before the prom, then before her wedding. The chorus always makes me cry: (I hope quoting it here isn’t breaking a copyright rule.) This was written by Steven Curtis Chapman – and the whole song is amazing! (I hope you’ll all go out and buy the CD!)

“So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
‘Cause I know something
the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don’t want to miss even one song
‘Cause all too soon the
clock will strike midnight
And she’ll be gone…”

I don’t have a daughter and my husband’s only dancing partner is me. But I feel about my boys the same way Steven feels about his daughter. I don’t want to miss even one song in the dance of my boys’ lives. Too soon they will be gone as well.

So amidst the crazy week, I’ve had some emotional moments. Change or even the anticipation of change can be a challenge. But by God’s grace I’ll get through it. The dryer and the dishwasher are making some strange noises…I’m hoping we don’t encounter any other expensive surprises next week…