March 2007

I’m feeling chatty on this warm spring day. :)

I was just reading the wonderful news that one of my critique partners, Tamera Alexander is a triple finalist for the RITA Award this year! This is a pretty prestigious award and Tammy has finaled for both of her books, Rekindled and Revealed for Best Inspirational category and Rekindled is also a finalist for Best First Book. Pretty amazing and well deserved! Go Tammy!

This news got me thinking about how often I’ve heard Tammy talk about wanting to be in the center of God’s will for her life and no place else. She’s been such an encouragement to those who know her. And perhaps her attitude is partly what has helped shaped my own over the past number of months.

There comes a time when we have to recognize that our dreams may not be going in the direction we’d planned. We may realize that someone we love doesn’t love us in return, or something we’d dreamed wasn’t meant to be. Whatever the reason, we all have to come to a place where we remember that our lives are not our own. As Christians, we were bought with a price, the precious blood of Jesus. And our highest devotion is to give Him glory by presenting our bodies, a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to Him. (Romans 12:1-2)

Sure we work hard at the goals He’s set before us, and we do all we can to fulfill whatever calling we believe He has placed on our lives, but in the end, it is freeing to simply wake up each morning and ask Him to use us to bless someone else – to use our lives in whatever way He deems best.

That may mean we see earthly rewards we can hold in our hands. And it may mean we will wait for those rewards in eternity. Our purpose is to press on towards the goal of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus…in the center of His will…no place else.

It’s a beautiful spring day today – in the 70s! My windows are open and the birds are chirping. I’m loving this! I just wish it would last, but this is Michigan after all. The rest of the week promises to be in the 50s and 60s. Still better than freezing.

Yesterday Shadow had quite the adventure! Randy had the door open and invited both cats outside, but Tiger stayed in. Jeff had to toss Shadow out there (he kept playing this can’t decide game) and so he was outside when Randy heard this noise. He thought it was neighbors, but then Shadow took off like a shot, and Randy saw this bunny racing for the back fence, with Shadow hot on his tail. Shadow cornered the bunny before he could get through the fence and didn’t know what to do next! We don’t know if he actually touched him or just stood right behind him. The bunny finally made it through the fence and Shadow ran back to the house. I thought he was going to come inside then, but he decided he was pretty proud of himself, so he rolled all over the cement with an “I’m all that” attitude. Silly cat.

Actually, the weekend turned out to be rather eventful for all of us. Saturday we did quite a bit of cleaning because we were expecting company Sunday afternoon, which turned out to be a good time and a lot of fun. And I got a clean house out of my guys along with it! I should have company more often. :) Now if we could just keep it this way…(but I know two cats who won’t help!)

Sunday morning I ended up in Urgent Care. Who would have thought it would be so busy on a Sunday morning before church. But lest I thought I had very long to wait, I found out that had I gone the night before I would have waited two hours! They had 60 people in the waiting room. (It was a small waiting room with about a dozen chairs.) Anyway, my visit wasn’t life threatening. I had some stitches a few weeks ago that ended up infected. The doctor (and I agree) thinks I’m allergic to either the stitches or the bandages or the ointment – something! So now I get to wait and see if the antibiotic works. And try not to be miserable.

Still no word on any of my writing projects, so I’m pondering whether to continue working on my newest wip or brainstorm another one. Tough decision. It’s hard to wait on the publishing industry…though I could go and clean another room upstairs. Not everything got touched during our cleanup Saturday.

Then again, it is beautiful outside and I do have this book I need to read…

Michigan weather has finally decided to accept the calendar switch to Spring. At least for this afternoon – it’s in the mid sixties! I love the warmer weather, the sunshine, and the smell of brighter days to come. Of course, being Michigan, it won’t last – yet. We’re due for highs in the 50s for the rest of the month. Oh well…it’s better than freezing. :)

Randy is allowing the two kitties to venture outside in this. They love to beg to go out, but then when we finally let them, they act all skitterish. Silly cats. Today Tiger is quicker to jump into adventure, while Shadow wants the privilege of coming and going as he pleases. He’d be happy if the door was left wide open for his pleasure.

Shadow is our picky one – accepts petting and hugs when he decides. Tiger snuggles much more easily. Shadow loves Fancy Feast and plastic, and not necessarily in that order. He especially loves those large, flexible, Priority mail envelopes from the post office. I have to hide them lest they end up with row upon row of teeth marks.

Tiger plays with dry cat food. He takes a bite, chews the edges, and drops the middle onto the kitchen floor. Sometimes he drops the whole piece and plays hockey with it, depending on his mood. What he really likes is people food and paper. People food preferably.

Last night three of us were eating ice cream and watching TV. Peppermint ice cream with dark chocolate fudge topping. Yum. :) At the clanking of the spoon on the bowl, Tiger came to investigate. First he pestered Randy for a lick. Got no satisfaction. Then he tried Jeff, who gave in when he finished. (Tiger loves Jeff best.) :) Shadow decided that if Tiger was going to lick Jeff’s bowl, then he would sniff Randy’s bowl. Picture a cat’s nose lifted in the air, the hint of disdain following him as he jumps back off the couch. No plastic or Fancy Feast? No thanks.

Jeff’s bowl got snatched from under Tiger’s tongue before he’d had his fill, so he sauntered on over and hopped on my chair.

“What’s ya got there, Mom?”

“Never you mind.”

“I’m just gonna sniff it, okay?”

“No you’re not, you want to lick what’s left.”

“Yep.”

So he did. Now who would have thought that a cat would enjoy peppermint and chocolate?

I guess that does taste better than paper or plastic!

Saturday night Randy and I went to a meeting at our church where new people can find out what the church believes and the direction it is going. We were given a copy of the church constitution and read it over beforehand. Doctrine is important to us, as weird as that may sound. Staying true to Scripture of utmost importance. Of all the churches we’ve been part of over the years, this one is structured closer to the Biblical model than any we’ve seen.

During the dinner part of the meeting, a lady sat beside me that I’d never met before. We got talking about past churches, and she said something that I’ve heard many times before. She told me that she has been hurt more by people who call themselves Christians than anyone else in life. And that got me thinking…

I’ve watched a lot of kind and unkind things go on in Christian circles over the years. I’ve been blessed unexpectedly and blind-sided without warning. Which just goes to show that Christians are still sinners (just like me) and saved by grace, not by some inherent or earned good. Our words can wound or they can heal depending on how well we have learned to rely on the Lord and control our tongue. Jesus said, “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:36-37 NKJV

Maybe that’s why the apostle Paul wrote, “Therefore, putting away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.’”

So our words should be governed by honesty, not lies – even “little white” ones.

“‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil…Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

If we go to bed angry, sin festers and grows like a nasty virus in our souls, giving a bad taste to everything that comes from our mouth.

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Not everyone in our churches or Christians circles are truly Christian. I have to remember that when I see behavior that makes me cringe – not that I’m trying to judge an individual’s salvation – only God knows the human heart. But that I have to realize that churches are filled with Christians and non-Christians alike, so encountering worldly behavior there should not surprise me.

Still, even believers can fall and fail and I am not exempt. By God’s grace alone we are saved and in His strength alone can we overcome bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking. Kindness is a learned trait (even children are not naturally kind), and one that takes continued practice. Maybe that’s why Paul ends the section with forgiveness. In one way or another people are going to disappoint and hurt us. We will be the brunt of a cruel joke or gossiped about or ripped apart some day, sooner or later. Perhaps by someone we trusted. The key to moving on and not letting ourselves become bitter is forgiveness.

As Jesus Christ forgave us…

How often do we think about the way we speak? With blog posts or emails, I’m pretty careful how I form my words, double-checking, triple-checking, rewriting, hoping that what I convey is coming through the way I’m intending it. I want to be gracious and kind even when I approach sometimes difficult subjects.

But with everyday speech it is much easier to say the wrong thing, to spout something naggy or irritated or resentful. Words spoken hastily or in anger can leave lasting hurt, and it’s oh so easy to say them, isn’t it?

Speech, whether public or private affects every relationship. But unfortunately, we are all human, and sometimes our emotions and pride and wrong attitudes can get in the way of acting with kindness, professionalism, humility, and grace.

Speech seasoned with grace (or lack thereof) affects our marriages, plays out in the way we treat our children, is evident in our churches, to our neighbors, our friends, even our enemies. But often our lack of grace becomes evident in how we treat strangers, people who serve us in one way or another to meet our desires or needs.

Consider the waiter who takes our food order and serves our meal. Sometimes, we can get a server with an attitude of their own, who does not seem to care that their tip is conditional on their behavior. But many waiters are overworked and under appreciated. If they make a mistake with our order, are we rude or obnoxious to them? Often it is not even their fault, but they take the brunt of the blame. And when we tip – do we count out the percentage to the last penny, or do we round up with a generous heart?

The person who checks our groceries (at the end of a really long line) or the nurse who cares for a loved one or the customer service representative we finally get through to after an endless automated system – these people are often the brunt of our frustration, impatience, and anger. But even in these relationships with people we do not know and may never meet, are we suddenly allowed to be rude to them? How many telemarketers have we cut off with a tone of voice that was less than kind? (I’ll admit it – I’m guilty of such frustration a time or two.)

I’d like to think that I’ve got a handle on graciousness. But I know myself too well to think I’ll never again lapse into selfishness and pride, thinking I deserve better or ought to be served rather than serve. The apostle Paul said:

“Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” Colossians 4:5-6 NASB

It’s a goal that doesn’t need some future time or experience to practice. Speech seasoned with grace can start new every morning with my family, my friends, my church, and the stranger I meet at the grocery story this week. Like the pleasant taste of salt on food, so should our words taste to those who hear them.

We put a lot of stock in experience. If someone has experience doing a certain job, we look to them with respect, because they know what they are doing. And that’s good.

But there is another type of experience that is purely subjective. It’s those things that happen to us, that enhance what we think or feel.

I remember a time when I was speaking with a woman about her beliefs. I thought this woman was a Christian at the time, but discovered that her faith was centered in a works-based doctrine. During our conversation, she told me about a number of people who had these experiences where God spoke to them and told them this or that. (Never mind whether those experiences lined up with Scripture, she was believing the experience above all else.) She was convinced her experiences were correct and tried to convince me to believe them too. She said, “but if you just heard what these people have been through, you’d believe that what I’m telling you is true.” She was basing her faith on experience – hers and the people she knew.

I think deep down the reason such faith-focused experiences are popular is because we want to feel God. We can’t see Him, so we want to know by subjective encounter that He is there. But there is a significant problem with depending on our feelings for what is true.

The thing is, these experiences, much of the time, are shortcuts. Jesus promised His followers peace far greater than the human mind can understand – an experience we all want, I dare say, above all else. And yet too often we grasp at the world’s imitation. Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you…” In this crazy world, peace is far too often an elusive dream. So we find ways to achieve it through yoga exercises and meditation or contemplative prayer and stilling our minds or alcohol or sex or drugs. Our stomachs are so tied up in knots, what else can we do?

Yet Jesus said, “Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

The world is looking for that rest, to experience soul-deep peace, but they’re looking for it in all the wrong places. What they don’t understand, is that true rest and peace comes not through experience, but through relationship. We walk by faith, not by sight. (Or by what we think we see through feeling or emotion.)

The disciple Thomas was one of those who believed his own experience rather than relying on the relationship he had developed with the Lord, and trusting what He had promised.

Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”

In other words, I have to experience this, feel it, see it, touch it for myself.

And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!”

Ah peace – that “experience” we all long for.

Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.” And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:24-29

To know Jesus as the Bible reveals Him, is to know peace. When subjective, emotion-controlled experience replaces that relationship, we get a temporary fix to mask a permanent problem. If, on the other hand, we embrace the relationship of knowing Jesus Christ as Lord, His peace (not to mention joy, love, patience, and a host of other wonderful qualities) are ours for the asking.

It’s Who you know, not what you think you feel.