November 2006

Have you ever met a control freak? I’ve met several in my life, but the truth is, sometimes as a mom, I’m a control freak myself.

I think everyone has a desire deep down to be in control of their own destiny, to make their own decisions. I remember growing up how it would grind me when people would tell me what I ought to do. I didn’t want to be told. I wanted to make the decision for myself.

As the roles have changed from being told to doing the telling, I realize that I’m a lot like the people who used to tell me what to do. I find myself trying to get my kids to do what I want or even going so far as to try to coax God to give into my desires through my prayers.

I realized the other day, though, that I have no real control over my life. I was reading in Ecclesiastes 7:14 “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.”

We don’t know what awaits us five minutes from now let alone tomorrow or next month or next year. We don’t know whether we will meet with love or hate, joy or sorrow, peace or pain.

I cannot control my family’s future. I cannot ensure that we will never have strife, whether sin or fear will ever divide us, whether we will be healthy or sick, live long or short. I cannot control whether I will have friends or foes, wealth or poverty, danger or safety. I have zero control over these things. Zilch. Nada.

The only thing I can control is how I act toward those around me – doing unto others as I would have them do to me – and my response to the circumstances and relationships of life.

As Micah 6:8 says, “He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” It is within my power to do these things, and it is within my power to control my responses to love or hate, joy or sorrow, peace or pain.

Beyond that, I put my trust in my Maker, because I can’t control a thing.

I’ve been thinking about churches a lot lately. In the Biblical sense the church as a whole, the body of Christ, is universal and encompasses brothers and sisters all around the world. But the New Testament gives us guidelines for how to conduct ourselves in a local church body where Christians were to meet on the first day of the week.

If you read the letters Jesus sent to the churches listed in Revelation, you get the sense that there was only one church in each of the cities He addressed. Similarily, Paul’s letters were written to churches in Galatia, Philippi, Ephesus, Corinth and more. Again, we get the impression from the letters that each city only housed one church.

Unlike temple worship, in those days there were no church buildings – people met in each other’s homes. There was no such thing as differing denominations or mulitple churches within those denominations.

Today we live in a culture where you can literally drive down a street and pass four or five churches within a few mile radius. There are protestant churches (Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, Bible, among others), Catholic churches, Charismatic churches, Community churches, Missionary and Alliance churches, and more – some small, some mega sized.

The choices are great and as Christians it is important to check out the doctrinal leanings of each group and hold it against the litmus test of Scripture and then follow the Holy Spirit’s leading.

But what happens when after much prayer and searching you feel led to join with a specific church? Does that decision to join bind you to that group for life? Is it wrong to leave a church after a number of years and look for another? And if you leave, does that make you a church hopper? Is church hopping wrong?

My parents moved to a new town when I was three, found a church, and got involved. I grew up there, was married there, and called it my church home until our first child was born. I watched the church go through several pastors, much strife, and a number of changes both good and bad.

Eventually, it became clear to my husband and I that we needed to leave, to find a place where we could grow stronger in the Lord.

Some people would say you should stay faithful to one church body no matter what happens and never leave. Others would argue that if your walk with Christ is being compromised for whatever reason, it is time to move on. And if in the course of your life you have been involved in several churches, some would label you a church hopper as though this is sin. What does the Bible say?

The Bible does teach us to fellowship together with other believers, and it warns us against forsaking the assembly of ourselves with people of like faith, especially as we see the Day (of the Lord’s return) approaching. (Hebrews 10:25) We need each other to build one another up, to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. The thing is, sometimes God has to shake us up, to show us that we are no longer effective in a particular church or are no longer growing under the teaching.

Only God knows what is best for us. I dare say that sometimes we get too comfortable in our churches, and we need a change in order for us to continue to grow on this lifelong journey of faith. How God leads us to that change is an individual decision between us and the Holy Spirit.

If we move around for selfish purposes with no rhyme or reason to our leaving, or we leave out of anger or bitterness, that could be considered church hopping and we should rethink our motives. But if we feel the Spirit leading us to leave one place for another, then label or no label, we had better listen to His call.

When it all comes down, there is no sin in changing churches – at least not as far as I can tell from God’s Word. The sin would be in not listening to the Spirit’s voice and thinking we know better than He does. Better to carry a label of misunderstanding than to grieve the Lord by disobedience.

In keeping with my thoughts on Thanksgiving, I was reading some comments in our church newsletter from the senior pastor and his wife about gratitude. He said, “I think the foundation of Thanksgiving is the compelling belief that God owns everything and He is the gracious giver of gifts. Without God, we are nothing and have nothing.”

Later in the article he also mentions that gratitude is the hardest attitude to sustain. Why is that, I wonder?

Maybe because our culture promotes an attitude of ingratitude and of feeling like we deserve more. The apostle Paul tells us that if we have food and covering, to be content with that, and King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 2:24-25 (NIV) “A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? ”

Even gratitude is God’s gift. But it begins when we see God for who He is and who we are in relation to Him. Psalm 24:1 says, “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it, the world and all who live in it.”

Since God created all things and our very breath is a gift from Him, we would do well to be thankful for the blessings He has bestowed on us from the greatest to the least.

So when something as simple as dinner doesn’t turn out right – the frozen ravioli was so-so and we won’t buy that brand again, but the salad and bread and applesauce were good – instead of complaining about what we didn’t like, we can be grateful that we have food to eat at all. It all comes down to attitude. Do I think I deserve better, or am I grateful for what I’ve already got?

What a busy week! Tuesday it rained all day but today was just beautiful! Lovely fall day and a hint of Indian summer. The weekend promises to be colder, but I’m thankful for all of it. I love this time of year!

I mentioned the other day, as Thanksgiving Day approaches, that I’m mostly thankful for my Lord Jesus Christ, but there are so many blessings He has given me apart from salvation that I have to name a few.

Of course, the next thing on my list would be my wonderful family. Words cannot express how much I love my guys! Randy – my dear husband – no one on earth compares to you! Some women want a man to listen. Others want a guy who will be faithful and come home at night. Still others just want their man to be considerate enough to pick up after themselves! Some women would like a guy who surprises them with flowers and doesn’t mind eating leftovers or bringing home pizza or Chinese every Friday. Others want a romantic, a man who buys them jewelry every Christmas, and every now and then pens a love note even though he’s not a writer. Still others want a man who is dependable, who won’t spend all their money on foolish or selfish pursuits, but puts his family first. These are just a few of the ways my Randy blesses me every day and has been doing so for nearly 30 years. To top it off, he loves the Lord. It doesn’t get any better than that.

I’m also very grateful for the terrific sons God has blessed us with! I could list many fine qualities for each one of them, but this isn’t meant to sound like a brag sheet. :) When I look at my guys, I feel honored to be part of their lives, to watch as they pursue the dreams God has placed in their hearts. And when times get rough and I’m hurting, they make me feel protected and loved. If God grants them their dreams of film making and song writing, I could follow them anywhere! When Randy retires, we’ll just hop on the road and be their biggest fans. Writers can write anywhere (and I’ve heard writers don’t retire), so I’m game! :)

Seriously, though, as this Thanksgiving approaches, I really am grateful to the Lord for allowing me the privilege of being mom to Jeff, Chris, and Ryan. At times it’s been a challenge, but it’s always been a blessing. Most of all, I’m grateful that the Lord has seen fit to give them the gift of salvation. If not for His grace, our family tale would be far different. All we have comes from Him. We deserve nothing. All the more reason to be thankful.

Since the Thanksgiving holiday is so often overlooked – stores move from Halloween to Christmas with narry a thought to Pilgrims and Indians or horns of plenty – I decided to talk about it a bit this month, to explore why we eat turkey and watch parades and football the fourth Thursday of November each year.

I know this is an American holiday with roots from the days of the Mayflower and the Pilgrims’ survival in a new world. But the reason they celebrated was not just an excuse to eat or socialize with the Indians. They feasted as they rejoiced in God’s goodness to them. They were thankful to their Maker for His bountiful provisions and His grace.

With that in mind, I think it would do me well to begin thinking of things I am thankful for as well. The Bible tells us to give thanks in everything. So what am I grateful for?

Most of all – for Jesus – for His grace in the face of our sin and our weaknesses. For loving us enough to give up His glory with the Father to come to earth to be the substitute for our sin. And then for choosing to love a sinner such as I and to forgive me for all the wrong things that I’ve done, thought, said, and everything I will yet do, say, or think that would dishonor His name. He has forgiven me and set me free! There is nothing greater than that! And yet there is more!

In His great grace, He has prepared a place for me, for all who love Him, and one day He will take me there to be with Him forever, to see His glory, to enjoy His presence, to love Him with every part of my being, with such heightened senses that my joy will never end.

There is no greater love than the love of Christ. If I had nothing else, it would be enough, because it is everything worth being grateful for. And yet there is more, so much more for which to give thanks.

But that’s for another day. :)