September 2006

Before I left for the ACFW Conference in Dallas, I had asked God for a new beginning – I needed to know the direction He wanted me to take with writing. Should I be writing as a hobby in obedience to the calling or continue to pursue publication and view writing as a ministry/career? I honestly didn’t know. After years of longing to be published, I was facing a crossroads. And whatever God wanted, I was and am willing to do.

So this conference had a different feel for me. I was completely at peace about every aspect, probably because I had no expectations and those longings to make a good impression and snag the interest of an editor had dwindled to a weird sort of acceptance. To say I really didn’t care what happened would be accurate, though that sounds almost callous. My heart was not callous in the least. I guess it was just happy to wait on the Lord, to see what things He had in store.

The day before we left for Dallas, God directed me to two verses in Joshua 3:4-5. “Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before…Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.” Considering all the doubt I’d had during this past year and the lack of confidence in my ability to write and even my worth as a person, I was ready to see what God would do at this conference.

The first night, God brought a woman into my path that I’d never met before. She encouraged me in the Lord as we talked about Him. What a blessing! Over the next few days I wondered how I would ever find some of the people I had hoped to meet. With 400 people in attendance, how did one pick out someone when all I had was a name? Twice as I sat at breakfast, I turned to the person beside me and there she was! The person I had hoped to meet! Amazing how God works.

Conferences are places that bring out the gamut of emotions in a writer. In years past I was nervous for editor appointments, and cried over the fact that my work just wasn’t good enough yet, or no one was interested in my genre. This year I felt bad for others as I watched their struggles. I understood because I’ve been there. And it was very strange that I wasn’t feeling that way this time. After all, I’m not in any different place than I was before. (I’m still not published.) But God was doing a work in my heart.

The night of the Awards Banquet, I had a short case of jitters. I was a finalist in the romantic suspense category of the Genesis contest and Saturday night they would announce the winners. First they announced the Mentor of the Year – Lena Nelson Dooley won that award! Then they went on to the Book of the Year nominees and winners. At last they came to the Genesis (a contest for unpublished authors.) I had told the Lord I wanted to win, but I didn’t have any expectations of doing so. I hadn’t even prepared a speech if I did.

But as I listened to other authors give their speeches, I asked the Lord for the words, just in case. Then came the romantic suspense category finalists. Our pictures were flashed on the screen with the titles of our books. Third place was announced and the winner went to get her certificate. Second place did the same. And then they announced first place – and I heard my name called!

That perfect peace settled over me as I walked on stage and gave my speech. It was a surreal moment, one I’ve never experienced before. Perhaps that is what the Lord meant when He gave me those verses in Joshua – “…you have never been this way before…”

I wasn’t going to attend the ACFW Conference this year. After my year of discouragement, I didn’t see the point. But then I decided to enter the Genesis and I told the Lord that I would only go to the conference if I finaled. Even up to a week before, I was dragging my feet, not at all sure I wanted to go. But after I got there and found an editor interested in my work and then won the award, I can see why God was prompting me. I needed a new beginning from Him, and He placed it before me, confirming to my heart that I’m on the path He has chosen for me.

Some may have come away discouraged, as I did last year. Some may be questioning why they even bother. It’s such a tough road. My heart breaks for those in that position because it is so easy for any writer to slip back into that line of thinking. If that is you, I pray that you will be encouraged. Find strength in the Lord your God. The morning of the Awards Banquet, God gave me these words from Joshua 8 “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” This is Joshua’s theme.

Do not be afraid of what the future holds or of success, if that should be His plan. And do not be discouraged when things don’t go as you think they should. I won the Genesis award in my category, but then promptly missed the group picture to prove it! Yet God said, “Do not be discouraged.” He is in control. I will trust in Him.

In two days my son, Ryan, and I will hop a plane to Dallas for the American Christian Fiction Writers Conference. This year’s theme for the conference is “New Beginnings.”

Yesterday, as I spoke on the phone with my good friend about this whole business of writing, I was feeling the need to ask God for a new beginning myself. Last year I felt like I was at a crossroads in my writing life. And the conference, while having it’s good moments, left me with an overall feeling of discouragement. (Not the fault of the conference or the people, rather of my whole outlook.) It took me a long time to get over that feeling, but even now, when a hard critique or a bad rejection comes, I still face those moments. And through the tears, I have to ask myself “why do I feel this way?”

The thing is, writers normally face a lot of rejection. It comes in the form of negative critiques, bad rejections (or just a rejection period), nasty reviews, and on the flip side, indifference. Such attitudes of the reading public and the people in the publishing industry can cause a writer to doubt. Doubt everything from their ability to write to their worth as a person. When the writer is not secure in their writing, not confident that what they are doing is truly good, whether anyone else thinks so or not, rejections will cause them a great deal of hurt and pain. If, on the other hand, they believe in what they are doing, these things won’t trouble them as much. They’ll be able to develop a thick skin and let it roll off their back.

The trouble is doubt is a subtle thing. It often starts small and grows over time. And it is not limited to one area of our life. When we question or doubt God on one level, say regarding our families or our health, those doubts can transfer to our work, effecting our ability to function.

They say publishing is not for the faint of heart. It requires the willingness to grow, to take criticism and learn from it, to move from novice to craftsman. But on the other hand, sometimes there are too many voices telling us what to do, and we have to come to a place where we stop listening to all but One, and write what He places on our hearts. Because if we’re not careful, we can lose site of the vision. And suddenly everything we write is to please someone else, to fit the market just to sell our work, and when that fails, we question what went wrong and doubt ourselves.

And then, instead of growing a thick skin, we feel like Job whose skin was covered in boils and all we want is a piece of pottery to scrape the pain away. Too much rejection can toughen a confident author or destroy a doubting one.

When I began writing years ago, I had a stubborn streak and even through numerous rejections and tough critiques, I’ve managed to persevere. But somewhere along the way, doubts crept in and have threatened to destroy my love of writing and my pursuit of publishing.

So this week, I’m asking God for a new beginning. That may sound like I’m looking to start my writing career over, to scrap everything I’ve written and seek something new. But what I’m actually longing for is a fresh vision from Him, to see my calling to write through His eyes, and to find the place He has planned for me – to use my writing ability for His purposes. That might mean a whole new path. Or it may mean a need to persevere on the path I’m on. I don’t know.

But I’m looking forward to seeing what He will do. I will meet authors and editors and chat with my agent, but the Person I’m really going to meet with is the Lord. I know He is with me always, but at this conference I hope to focus on Him instead of me.

Prayers for this week are most appreciated!

Author B.J. Hoff has some great insight into a popular subject in Christian fiction. You can read her comments here. B.J. makes some great points about “egdy” fiction vs. telling a good story without the graphic details. Here are my thoughts on the subject.

If we look back in history at novels we now consider classics, we see some great stories that tackled tough subjects. JANE EYRE dealt with mental illness. LES MISERABLES explored thievery and justice and redemption. THE SCARLET LETTER showed the various sides of adultery. They were all published in the general market because as far as I know at the time that’s all there was.

The difference in these past stories and those in today’s market is that our world view has changed. Back then, those books held to a Biblical worldview, even if they were not overtly Christian. Christian teaching was understood by the masses – there was no need to explain our faith.

Today, with our multiculturalism and diversity, our world believes in “God” but when we hear of someone’s faith or belief in God, we have to ask “What God?” There are so many to choose from.

I don’t know the history of every publishing house, but I believe some of the Christian houses began as a way to create Christian materials for Christian people. That has grown to include an explosion of Christian fiction. And I dare say that the reason readers look for Christian novels is because so many novels in the mainstream market no longer hold to their Biblical worldview. That worldview includes a place where people do not spew profane speech or describe violent scenes and romantic encounters in graphic, vivid detail. Isn’t that precisely what Christian readers come to the Christian market to get away from?

So now some writers and publishers want to push the boundaries to make Christian books more like the world. It goes hand in hand with trying to make the gospel palatable, more marketable to the seeker, rather than preach the cross, which is an offense to those who don’t believe. I understand the desire to be realistic – as a writer I struggle with how much realism myself. I also understand the thinking that wants to show the realism alongside faith, which we probably can’t do in the general market (there the faith element is probably censored, whereas in the Christian market the graphic depictions are censored.) So a writer has to choose.

The problem is that they are missing the point. And they are assuming that a reader of fiction has no imagination. But realistically, anyone who has watched television or movies or even the news for any length of time can picture a murder or kidnapping or rape or a sexual encounter without much effort. A skillful writer doesn’t need to say much to leave a lasting impression in the readers’ minds. And personally, I believe, less is more.

They say that whatever you see in the general market today will follow in the Christian market a few years later. In some respects that’s a good thing as new genres open up for Christian writers that weren’t available to them before. But on the other hand, it’s not so good. Biblical fiction, for instance, has become revisionist writing in the general market – rewriting Bible stories to suit the writer’s fancy rather than stay true to Scripture. What would happen if a few years from now the Christian market decided to throw off the constraints of Scripture and publish Biblical fiction that did not magnify the Word of God?

In the same way, the general market has no problem getting more graphic with each passing year. A recent article in my local paper said erotica romance is on the rise. So where do Christian writers and publishers draw the line? Or are we too concerned with pushing the boundaries when we should be more concerned with telling a story that will cause the reader to think, to grow, to change – and perhaps to pick up the Word and want to know more about the true God that is depicted in our stories of faith?

It’s something to think about, but more importantly, writers who would push these boundaries should pray, and be careful that their desires are in line with God’s Word. He tells us to think on things above, and on what is true and pure and good and lovely and praiseworthy. Writers are teachers in a very real sense, and we have a great responsibility to proclaim the truth. But we must be careful whose truth we would portray, and remember that the stories Jesus told were not graphic descriptions of evil. They were realistic portrayals of our sinful condition that were aimed to pierce the listener’s heart.

We’ve got a new author on “Spotlight” this month – author Rene Gutteridge. I just finished reading Rene’s newest book Scoop, which comes out in October. If you’ve never read one of Rene’s books, you have two ways to do so.

1. You can check out your local Christian bookstore or any online shop like Amazon or CBD (see Rene’s interview for details), or…

2. Enter this month’s drawing to win one of Rene’s previous books. She’s giving away two books, so chances are double this month for anyone who enters. So far, I’ve only got one entrant, and I know she would be happy to win both books, but just in case someone else out there loves to read, please check out Rene’s interview and follow the directions at the bottom of the page to enter to win!

Please note: if you entered to win one of DiAnn Mills’ books, please enter again, because this is a new month and a new drawing. Thanks!

Other stuff…Two weeks from now I’ll be in Dallas at the American Christian Fiction Writers’ Conference. This year I get to take my youngest son along, his first such experience.

You would think I’d be used to these things by now, as this is my fourth conference. I think being a Genesis finalist has got my nerves just slightly on edge. Not that I expect to win a thing…let’s just say that I’m glad there are 35 of us, so I’m not alone. :)

In any case, for those of you who pray, if you think of Ryan and I during the next few weeks, I would covet your prayers for the conference. Little details going right can make all the difference.

Hopefully, I’ll post again before I leave – right now I’m off to finish my wip (work in progress.) I think I’m going to be typing “The End” today!