June 2006

If you’ve been reading my posts, you know that I interview one author a month on the “Spotlight” page. I do this to help give you some insight into the author and to help promote their work. But since I don’t have time for more than one interview a month, I want to rave about some favorite recent reads.

The Secret Life of Becky Miller by Sharon Hinck – I’ll be interviewing Sharon early next year, but this book can’t wait that long! If you are a mom or want to be a mom or have a mom, and if you love to laugh out loud, buy this book! Sharon had me laughing often and near tears at least once. Amazing debut novel!

A Distant Music by B.J. Hoff – click “Spotlight” to read more about this story and about B.J. This is a beautifully done story written by a fine, talented lady. A wonderful, poignant read!

Special Assignment by Kathleen Fuller – I’m interviewing Kathy next month, and this is just one of her many romance novels. This romantic suspense is one of my favorites – reads fast and kept me turning pages, though I’ll talk about her book more in July – tune in then!

Under Cover of Darkness by Elizabeth White – A romantic suspense that kept me reading until the last page! Upcoming Spotlight interview with Beth early next year as well – this series deserves attention!

Note of Peril by Hannah Alexander – Another romantic suspense with lots of intrigue. This author gets better with every book! (Interview in Spotlight archives)

Pieces of Silver by Maureen Lang – Best World War I story I’ve ever read! Historical fiction that sings! (Interview in Spotlight archives)

Rekindled by Tamera Alexander – This debut hit the bestseller list and once you read it you’ll know why! Great story of rekindled love. (Interview in Spotlight archives)

The Spinster’s Beau by Jill Stengl (found in the Mackinac Island Barbour anthology – I had the fun and privilege of critiquing this story. It just came out, and I’ve yet to read the finished copy, but I read the preview and I know you’ll enjoy it. (Interview in Spotlight archives)

Over the Waters by Deborah Raney – This one has been out for a few months, but it’s up for some prestigious awards (as so many of Deb’s books have been). It’s a great story and a poignant read. (Look for Deb’s newest release, the updated version of A Vow to Cherish that inspired the World Wide Pictures film by the same name. (Interview in Spotlight archives)

SAHM I Am by Meredith Efken – Laugh out loud humor for stay-at-home moms, and anyone else who finds humor in life’s normal and not-so-normal tasks. (Interview in Spotlight archives)

Fighting for Bread & Roses by Lynn A. Coleman – Being a history buff, I especially enjoyed the historical part of this story – an interesting, suspense-filled tale!

Leather & Lace by DiAnn Mills – I enjoyed this historical story of redemption – the plot was well-drawn and quick paced. I’ll be interviewing DiAnn for Spotlight in August, so check back to hear more!

Some other books on my TBR “to be read” pile, that I’m hoping to get too soon are:

Magdalene by Angela Hunt
Web of Lies by Brandilyn Collins
Claire by Tracey Bateman

And I’m currently reading: River Rising by Athol Dickson

Actually, my TBR pile is a lot bigger than those three books, but it would take me all night to type them up.

Hope this gives you all some ideas for some great summer reading!

One of my favorite Bible verses is found in Phillipians four verse six. In the Living Bible (going on memory here) it says, “Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers and you will experience God’s peace, which is far greater than the human mind can understand.”

I memorized that verse in my teens and what struck me most was that God cares about everything – even the little details of my life. After all, the details fall under the category of “everything,” so I think we’re safe in sharing with our heavenly Father everything that is on our hearts.

Some people suggest that telling God about the mundane things of life or asking for help with insignificant details is a waste of time. God doesn’t care what I fix for dinner or that I stubbed my big toe. He’s only interested in my character and that I grow to know Him better, right? But what if when I stub my big toe, I have a tendency to swear because it hurts. If I pray and ask God to help me to handle those little things without resorting to anger, doesn’t that make me closer to Him?

I agree that we must approach God with reverence, but if I belong to Him and He is my Abba (Daddy in the Greek), then I can run to Him with anything. So often we lie to ourselves, denying our hurt or pain when God already knows how we feel. He’s waiting for us to tell Him because He cares for us. (I Peter 5:7 – “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” NIV)

I think if we view God as uninterested in the small things that we deal with every day, then we in turn become disinterested in the little details in the lives of others. As parents that can affect the way we teach our children. If we are only concerned with what we deem important, we won’t be interested in teaching them to run to God with everything. They learn that from us.

For instance, when my boys were small, we often had a backyard full of children playing in the sandbox or on the swings or in the pool. Our kitchen faces the yard, so I could easily keep a watchful eye on what was going on. That meant sometimes interfering in their small issues and concerns, and I’ll admit that I had to learn to balance when to tell them I wasn’t going to listen to tattling with teaching them how to handle interactions with other people.

Because I knew my heavenly Father cared about the little things in my life, I was very in tune with the little things in the lives of my kids. I taught them to come to me with the things that troubled them, and in turn, pointed them to the Lord so that they would learn to go to Him with the details of their lives. My boys are adults now, and I can’t always be there for them. If they come to me with anything, I’ll still listen, but sometimes a man needs his heavenly Father much more than he needs his mom. As it should be.

In those times when the world fails them and people disappoint them (because they will), or circumstances are beyond their control, they’re going to need to know God sees them and cares about everything that troubles them. As my brother often says, “God is in the details.” It’s the little things that teach us to trust Him with the big things. And when we know He cares for us, we’ll care for others in the same way.

On Mother’s Day I posted a poem I wrote in 1987 for my mom. It is only fitting to do the same for my dad. Though the prose is not new or all that polished, the underlying meaning is still true.

Father’s Day also brings to mind another great dad – my wonderful husband, Randy. While no parent can take credit for producing respectful young men who love the Lord (because that is by the grace of God), I’d like to think that Randy’s influence has had a lot to do with the fine sons that greet me each day. The example of our Heavenly Father has made Randy into a wonderful dad. That heavenly influence made my dad a great dad too.

Here’s my 1987 tribute:

What is a Dad?
(c) 1987 Jill Eileen Smith

A dad is the pride of a little boy
and the love of a little girl.

A dad gives in to his children’s desires
when he forgets to check with Mom.

A dad sometimes likes to act real tough
but underneath he’s really a soft teddy bear.

A dad is the person you strive to do your best for,
because he is always so proud of you.

A dad is fun to eat with when it just the two of you
because he’d rather eat out than cook.

A dad is a great excuse for not cleaning your room
because he loves to tell Mom, “I’ll do it later.”

A dad is great to have in charge on Saturday mornings
because he lets you sleep in while he golfs.

A dad drives his children crazy on vacation
because he always wants to leave before the birds get up.

A dad makes you feel warm and safe
because you know he would always protect you.

A dad makes you want to be more like Jesus
because he strives to be so each day.

A dad is always there for you
and you know you are always in his prayers.

A dad’s greatest longing is that his children
walk in the path where God would lead them.

A dad misses his children when they
aren’t around for a long time.

A dad loves an excuse to see them
even if it means eating at McDonald’s three days in a row.

When you’re feeling low and you need a listening ear
Or when you need some encouragement or praise

A dad is always there. At least my dad is. And I hope he knows how much I love him.
Because I do.

Thanks Dad!

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

I’ve talked before about patience, but it seems like something I forever have to learn. I thought about the patience of Job (see the Old Testament) and how much absolute devastation he endured. If we had to live through the loss of our children and all of our wealth, we might not take it so well. I get impatient at much less.

It occurred to me that the word patience is viewed almost like a swear word. In jest I thought it might qualify as a four-letter word, but it is eight letters not four. Then I looked at another word the Bible interchanges with patience and found a word that fits that four-letter qualification. The synonym is the word longsuffering, which means to suffer long.

If you think about it, no one likes to hear the word long very often. We don’t like long movies or long books or long emails or long blog posts or long lines or long lists or long delays…long means wait (another four letter word) and frankly, no one wants to wait these days. But God is a God of patience and suffers long with us. Despite our aversion to the word or what it takes to build the quality in our lives, God highly values patience.

I think the hardest part about patience though, is when we have to display it toward other people. We want things now! And we want other people to give us instant answers, to jump when we call, to respond when we speak, to give when we ask, to produce when we demand. The more selfish we are the more impatient is our heart. Maybe we can mask that impatience on the outside and appear loving and patient and kind. How true that quality is on the inside is another matter. Does having to wait on people make us angry and more impatient? Are we inwardly critical when someone doesn’t meet our expectations? How long are we willing to suffer at the hands of another?

The Bible tells us that God is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. He waits and waits and waits for men and women to come to Him, to find grace and mercy to help them in time of need. His patience far exceeds anything we can imagine. Long and wait are words with which He is familiar. They may consist of four letters, but they are not words to be shunned or avoided. They are qualities that can only be learned by surrender to His will – and a willingness to suffer long and wait.

The phone rang at 9 a.m. this morning, but I was too zoned out to talk. At ten I decided it might be a good idea to start the day. After eleven hours of sleep – give or take waking up and zoning in and out – I finally felt rested. Well, partly rested. It will probably take me a week to recover from all the graduation hoopla, which began over a year and a half ago. It took me that long to finish Ryan’s Creative Memories picture album, which I set out to share with family and friends.

Overall, the graduation ceremony went well, and the party the next day had a great turnout and lots of willing helpers. I thank God for all the people who pitched in and helped us set up and clean up. And it was so great to see family and friends come to honor Ryan. Twelve years of homeschooling has reached an end.

And yet as parents, we never stop teaching our kids either by spoken word or by the example of our lives. Whether they live near or far, they carry a part of us with them, and whether they admit it or not, they will fall back on what we have taught them.

People asked me at the party what I was going to do now. After all, I’ve been a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) for twenty-five years and a homeschooling mom for twelve. So now what? I always thought I knew. In fact, I’ve had it all figured out for years. When the kids were grown, I would write full time, sell lots of books, have Randy take me to conferences, and maybe God would even call me into speaking or teaching…God has my career plan all laid out before Him in black and white. He’s read my heart’s desire, and even if He couldn’t read minds, which He can, I’ve told Him often enough. :)

But now I’m looking at my life with bittersweet nostalgia (a mom is entitled after she graduates her last child), and wondering, are my future career goals God’s plan or mine?

I know God has called me to write, so I’ll always do that, but since He’s yet to open publishing doors very wide – in the way I’d envisioned – I guess that aspect of my career plan is still in limbo. But if I’ve educated my children at all, God has educated me as well, and the one thing He’s taught me of late is to stop telling Him what to do.

You see, my personality is really good at figuring out a plan and telling God how it should be. And if Plan A doesn’t work, I give him Plan B. Always analyzing, always trying to understand. But you know what? I finally realized that maybe I don’t know as much as I think I do. And maybe God has a plan that would work a whole lot better than mine.

I tested this theory about a month ago with a particular situation. I knew what I wanted to see happen and had been telling God exactly how I thought it ought to go. The situation was stressing me out especially since I couldn’t control it. So I finally decided to pray, “Lord, I have no idea what’s best here. I thought I knew, but I don’t. So please, just let your will be done.”

The answer wasn’t easy. It was, in fact, painful. And yet, it was obviously the best answer we could have wanted. While it carried a measure of sadness, it was also freeing.

It taught me that God’s will may carry us along paths that aren’t always smooth. And in order to redirect us, He may close doors that we were certain were right for us. But that just goes to show how little we know, and how much more we must depend on the Lord to lead us.

Our family has come through some great years of homeschooling and survived the ups and downs of life to this point. Now each of us stands on the precipice of change. Life will never be the same as it had been. And the future may not be what I had expected or planned. But I will survive as long as I remember the lesson I just learned. And that is to pray not telling God what to do, but to acknowledge that I have no idea what’s best – and leave the decisions in His capable hands.

With our youngest son’s high school graduation this week, I thought I’d share a few thoughts about what it’s been like to homeschool three boys.

When our first child was born, we always planned to keep them in Christian schools. Public school was never an option for us for a variety of reasons. But since I’m not here to make blanket statements about the different types of schooling, suffice it to say, it wasn’t for us.

After six years in the Christian school system, however, the costs became prohibitive. I’m a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) and wanted to stay that way. I knew that I would rather spend all day with my kids than with strangers in the working world.
But that was the year they were all supposed to be in school full time, and I could finally pursue a writing career. Instead, they all came home to school.

I studied every piece of literature and catalog I could find on homeschooling – I was well prepared to tackle this business of teaching my children. We bought three matching desks and had all of their school books in a neat stack. I was excited and anxious to begin. How hard could it be?

We nearly quit that first week and every Monday to follow! Homeschooling is a lot harder than I originally thought. It took much prayer and many tears. We faced burnout and exhaustion. But we stuck it out. Twelve years later, we are graduating the last of three boys. Who woulda thought?

So why bother? Why go through all the sweat, prayers, and tears? What benefits has homeschooling afforded us?

1. Today, and as they were growing up, our children have become good friends. Their personalities would have split them apart in any other setting, making them competitors instead of companions. They were forced to get along and did. They often choose to hang out together now, despite the age differences.

2. It taught me patience. This must be something that I’ve needed to learn all of my life because God gave me two difficult tasks that require it – homeschooling and writing. You either learn it or give up.

3. Our family unit is strong. We spent a lot of time together – you either love each other or kill each other. Love won out. :)

4. We could meet the learning needs of each child individually and tailor their curriculum to suit them.

5. We got to travel at times when the rest of the world was in school. We just started school earlier then took a break.

6. It was easier to instill our values and talk about God as Deuteronomy says to do – all of the time – when you’re always together.

7. We made some great memories. My favorite time was after lunch when they would sit on the family room floor with Legos or cars or figures and play as I read books to them. We read biographies of so many people I lost count and some great historical fiction too.

It’s hard to believe twelve years have come and gone. We’ve already put one through college with two to go. Now I’m truly ready for that writing career that got put on hold for a while. But looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing!