July 2005

This question recently came up on one of the writer’s loops I’m on. I didn’t respond to it then, but it caused me to remember a poem I wrote in 1991 when I first began to submit my work for publication. The poem was published in The Christian Communicator shortly after it was written, giving me hope for future success.

But the point was not so much whether I am published or not. The thoughts in my mind at the time I wrote this poem had more to do with the fact that I had no author support. There were no internet writing support groups, and I knew no local Christian authors. My friends started to realize that I was serious (and probably a bit crazy) to pursue such an endeavor, and it became quickly apparent to me that no one else around me shared my passion. Not to mention I am married to an engineer who could not begin to understand what drives the creative mind. (But he’s loved me through the thick and thin of it anyway!) :)

So I took my frustrations and lack of support to the Lord. After all, He created me and understands me completely. He read my work and He saw how far I had to go to have my words make any sense at all. :) I was a long way from crafting fiction at that point, a long way from crafting sentences that were colorful and sensory, that could create an image in the minds of the reader.

Still, I knew that God could teach me how to do these things even when there was no one else to help. And as I was reading Psalm 23 one day, He impressed on me a writer’s version to that psalm. This rendition is not nearly as good as David’s original words, but it expresses how God views my writing, and how He shepherds me every step of the way.

A Psalm for the Christian Writer
(c) 1991 Jill Eileen Smith

“The Lord is my editor,
I shall lack no good training.
He critiques every sentence.
He makes me red ink my best efforts.
He smiles at my impatience.
Even though I anxiously walk to my
Mailbox awaiting rejection,
I will trust His timing.
For You are with me.
Your Words and Your pen, they comfort me.
You encourage me to keep writing
In the presence of past failures.
You use others to spur me.
My heart is full.
Surely Your love will follow me,
All the days of my life.
And I will keep striving,
Faithful to Your calling – forever.”

Today I no longer walk to my mailbox awaiting rejection. Instead, I check my agent inbox for the same reason. :) Technology has done a lot to change the way we write, but the point is still clear. If God calls us to write, He does read our work – He knows our words even before they are on our tongues or slip from our pens. I dare say that even with all of the help I now have through internet support groups and loving critique partners, God still wants to be my first editor.

All I have to do is ask Him.

It’s so easy to complain. Have you noticed that? Things don’t go right – someone cuts you off on the freeway, the doctor’s office is jammed and you wait hours just to see her, it rains the day of your picnic, you gained two pounds just because you looked at chocolate – and the list goes on…

Some of us work hard at not complaining, and we can even come to terms with some form of contentment. But to go one step further and praise, now that’s hard to do!

I remember when my kids were small how quickly I could point out something they needed to fix – especially when I was in the middle of dealing with a crisis. But when they did something nice or were just good that day, it was so easy to overlook, to forget to thank them or to tell them how proud I was of the way they had behaved.

Praise is also something we often neglect with God. The Bible calls it a sacrifice, and I can see why. We sacrifice our own pride, our own right to control, our own expectations, our own demands for the way we think things should be. When we praise God in spite of our circumstances, we acknowledge that He knows what He’s doing, and we show our willingness to step back and let Him be God.

We hold our praise in check too often with people as well because we fear giving the person a big head, adding to their ego. And in some cases, those concerns are well founded. But well-placed praise goes a long way to lighting up someone’s life. Have you noticed that? When someone compliments me, it lifts my spirit, makes my heart sing. It shows me that maybe all of my work is worth something, maybe my life makes a difference to someone else.

So many professions go unrewarded today. Engineers work behind the scenes of major companies. Without them, parts wouldn’t work, cars wouldn’t run, planes wouldn’t fly, the space shuttle wouldn’t exist, and yet they are rarely praised for the good work they do. If the car breaks down or the plane falls apart, they might get the blame, but how often are they thanked for a job well done?

There are people in all walks of life who go unrecognized, who feel underrated and unworthy. People who spend hours working behind the scenes, often all alone (writers fall into that category), and they wonder if what they do matters. Does anyone read their work or notice that the bathrooms are clean or care that the food was arranged artistically on the plate or appreciate that the seat belt held them in that accident?

A little word of gratitude, a note of thanksgiving, or a mouthful of praise can go a long way in this world. It would take our penchant to complain and trade it in for a more joyful spirit. The next time I’m tempted to complain, I hope that I remember the ‘oft neglected thing and praise God for all that He’s done, and then turn around and thank someone around me for their hard work as well.

We all need something in our lives that we love to do. Some of us are fortunate enough to find jobs that actually fall into that category. For others, work is work – just a job to pay the bills. Neither is wrong. One is just harder than the other.

But I dare say that if we are in a job we don’t enjoy, we have to find something to love that fulfills us in those hours away from work. God made us to love because love is a very integral part of His nature and He made us in His image. While He commands us to love people, which comes first and foremost above any sort of work or play, He did create us with a need to love our work as well.

For instance, some people love sports. Their passion kicks into high gear when they are on the playing field or coaching from the sidelines or watching from the stands. They are driven, (sometimes unreasonably so, but that’s another issue :)), the love of sports (or a particular sport) consumes them.

Some people love movies. Not just watching movies – making movies. These are the people who can sit and tweak a section of film until it is perfect and not even notice that they’ve been sitting there for six hours doing so. They are the people who become film directors and sound technicians and wardrobe consultants and script writers and method actors and so much more. With many it isn’t just a job – it is their passion.

For me – I write. I know hundreds of fellow writers who write whether they are working a day job or a night job or raising children or physically impaired. They write because they are driven, called, obsessed. It is their passion, something they love.

And honestly, when a person sits down to write a book, or produce a movie, or enter a sports contest, they will not go far if they do not love what they do. For instance, I LOVE my Biblical novel series about David’s wives. I’ve worked on this project on and off for fifteen years, changing it and growing as I’ve learned the craft of writing better. Recently, to fit a particular publishing house’s guidelines, I decided to cut nearly twenty thousand words from the story. Then I had a critique partner read it, and she made some suggestions that has caused me to go back and look at it again. All in all, I will have read through this book on Michal three times in the past two months. I have never done that with any other book, but every time I read this story, I love it all the more.

For any new authors out there, keep this in mind as you gauge how good your own story is. Do you love your characters? Do you love the story enough that it can stay with you for years to come? If you don’t, you will quickly tire of all of the necessary rereading and rewriting that comes with being an author. Like many other goals we may have in this life, look to do the thing you love the most. Choose a story you can sink your heart into. It’s all part of loving our work.

In church on Sundays our pastor is preaching through the book of Revelation. He is in chapter six near the end where it talks about some cataclysmic changes happening in the earth. As he spoke, I had this “ah ha” moment where suddenly something I already knew became clearer.

I’ve always been fascinated with end times teaching and have studied Revelation a number of times. I think I have a fairly good understanding of the differing points of view, and I know where I stand on them. Rather than get into a lengthy explanation here, however, I’ll just share that moment when I felt a greater degree of enlightenment into future events.

You see, God already destroyed the world once. (Yes, I believe the flood of Noah’s day truly happened.) If you study the science and the Biblical record of the flood, you will notice that it did not just rain for forty days and nights. The earth suffered the deluge of the overhanging water canopy that used to exist on earth. The fountains of the deep erupted, which I believe means volcanoes under water exploded spewing all sorts of stuff up from beneath the earth’s crust and from beneath the ocean’s surface. To put it bluntly, the earth underwent a catastrophic disaster while it was raining. The flood destroyed all life on the earth. Except for the lives of eight people protected on an ark.

What I think we fail to realize when we get to the book of Revelation, is that the Lord will destroy the earth again in a similar fashion, except this time he’ll use fire instead of water.

Revelation 6:12-14 says: “And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood; And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind. And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places.”

This great earthquake is no little thing. Scholars believe it will encompass the entire earth – a far greater earthquake than has ever been known before. The earthquake will likely cause volcanic eruptions, spewing so much ash into the air that the sun will look like sackcloth of hair (I imagine dust particles could do that) and the moon will look red, like blood. Earthquakes will also cause tsunamis and asteroids will pummel the earth. This is a huge disaster – so awful that the next verses tell us that everyone great and small, wealthy and poor, will experience it. It won’t be as it is today when a tsunami only hits one part of the world. It is Noah’s flood only far worse. It is the day of God’s wrath.

For believers, there is an ark of safety that will keep us from the catastrophy. That Ark is Jesus Christ. In Him, we are safe from God’s wrath, and I believe the Bible teaches that we will not be here when this happens, but will be raptured into His presence.

My “ah ha” moment came when I realized how much like Noah’s flood, this day will be. Because some people survive these events, we don’t always think of this as being as awful as that original flood. But it will be. And shortly after this outpouring of wrath, God does destroy the whole earth and there will be no escape for those who deny His Name. All of the people today who are anxious to save the planet won’t be able to stop this. God will have His day of judgment, and everyone will recognize it when it comes.

Are you in that Ark of safety?

A few days back I talked about how man looks on the outward appearance. That’s true for women too, by the way. We women want our men to look good and not succumb to an uncaring attitude about eating habits and dress and hygiene. So please don’t think this is a one-sided issue.

However, I want to confess to you that I too battle with the bulge. When I was a child of about ten, I gained about twenty pounds more than I should have. I have a picture of me with a short pixie hair cut, curled under at the jaw line, causing my cheeks to look even puffier than they were! I didn’t look quite like Augustus Gloop, but I was not heading in the right direction!

Then a few years later I had this startling revelation. Boys were actually cute! :) I was entering Jr. High that fall and my sister offered to go on a diet with me. It wasn’t a nutritious diet, looking back, and by today’s standards some might have accused me of being anorexic. The first few days all we ate was Cream of Wheat – without milk. (gag!) After that I started counting calories. There were days when I only ate between 600-800 calories. I’d take an apple to school for lunch. I’m not sure how I did it. Thus began my obsession with weight.

However, I was not anorexic in the least – I like food too much. :) I did keep a strict watch on my calorie intake all through high school though. It wasn’t until I was married that my weight crept up a few pounds. For years I would struggle to maintain the same weight, plateauing after the birth of each baby.

Now in my middle years I find weight maintenance is still a struggle. I’ve lost hundreds of pounds over the years – most of them up two pounds, down three, up one, down two – a kind of yo-yo eating style that keeps me from outgrowing my clothes, but not getting very far when it comes to shedding those last clingy ten pounds that I keep trying to lose! Ahh, the joys of slowing metabolism and middle age!

Still, I keep at it. Maybe it’s just my obsessive nature that doesn’t want to ever see that little girl with the puffy cheeks and a pixie hair cut looking back at me in the mirror one day. An old woman with puffy cheeks and short hair wouldn’t look so great either! (Maybe that’s why I like long hair!) Then again, a fuller face might look a whole lot better than these wrinkles I keep fighting.

Sigh…the battle of the bulge just never ends. And then there is the battle of the wrinkles…and the battle of the aches…and the case of the lost memory…

These could make some interesting book titles. :)

My hubby has been on vacation from work these past two weeks – and they are quickly coming to an end! Yesterday we spent the morning on a boat with a muskie fisherman. Last time we went on this boat, we caught nothing. Yesterday we caught three muskie, two at the same time. One was almost 30 pounds and about 52 inches long. Big fish!

I’m not a fisherman, so I just watched while Randy (hubby) and Ryan (youngest son) reeled in these fish. It was interesting to watch, but the boat and I didn’t get along too well. Maybe it was the 90 degree weather, or perhaps it was the rockiness of the boat, but it was the first time that I’ve ever felt motion sickness. I now know what it feels like to lose your appetite!

The fisherman would have probably fished for hours, but due to my unsettled stomach and some pesky, biting flies, we came back after about three and a half hours on the boat. (A bottle of Pepsi managed to keep me semi-settled, but I was really glad to be back on solid ground!) We returned to find that one of our sons had gotten a job he’d been praying for! And then we took off for the theater to see “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”

I like Johnny Depp in most of his movies, and he did a good job in this one as well. But in comparing the movie to the first one with Gene Wilder, I’d have to say there were things about Willy Wonka that I liked better in the first movie. Then again, there were things in this new version that I liked better than the old – the new Charlie for one. It would be nice if we could take the parts we like best and mix the too.

However, the one thing that I did come away with was a craving for chocolate! Now mind you, I love chocolate – dark chocolate in particular. Unlike Augustus Gloop who eats chocolate non-stop, however, I allow myself only one piece of Dove dark chocolate a day, usually after lunch. If it’s a small piece, like the Easter egg size, I eat it in one bite, but it’s a slow savory bite. :) I make it last on my tongue as long as possible. But I like the bigger Dove Promises better because I can break them in half and savor one half at a time.

Sometimes I will give in and eat two pieces in a day, but I’m usually pretty strick about it. The bathroom scale keeps me accountable every morning, and since weight has always been a struggle for me to keep under control, I obsess about anything that might tip the scales too far in the wrong direction. :) Chcolate could do that if I lived in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. LOL!

Thankfully, no one really rides on rivers of chocolate except in the movies. :)